Why pick up your clothes?

Will she still love you if you don't pick them up? Probably. Has she requested it in some way and you have yet to respond? If so, maybe you should take what appears to be insignificant and re-think it. It may not mean something to you, but if it is important to her than remembering to do so is a good way to affirm her. Love in action is real love. Saying "I love you" has many forms.

Instead of seeing it as a chore see it as a love note instead. Every time you bend down and remove dirty clothes and place them in their designated place, you are saying,  "I value your wishes my darling, because I value you."

On the other hand, if he does not pick up his clothes please do not make the mistake of assuming that he does not love or value you. His disposition on such things may be far different than yours. You may be overly tense about it and he, seemingly over-relaxed. He may have legitimate reasons (upbringing, personality style) why he feels fine about leaving his clothes around, and he may not change quickly enough for your preferences.

So what is the answer when this problem exists? Forgive for your differences and talk it out. Talk it out until you understand each other concerning the issue. Do not fall into the trap of trying to prove to him why he needs to be a "good boy" and pick up his laundry. Ultimately, that will tend to drive him away. Husbands do not fall into the trap of belittling her desires and correcting her for being too tense. This will alienate her. Instead, get together on the issue and really listen with friendly concern for the other's feelings. Here's the problem... you may not find THE answer to THE problem (dirty clothes on floor and elsewhere). Here's the benefit...when you talk it out and really listen you will probably end up laughing, loving, and growing as husband and wife. And that IS the answer to all of your problems in marriage. And the love-relationship-over-time is what will motivate to change.

I used the husband as the awful offender with clothing in this entry. I did it only because this is how it is in most homes. However, the roles can be reversed here. If both are relaxed about it, well then it can oft-times be heard..."WHERE'S MY UNDERWEAR!"